When it comes to finding a definition for “people pleaser” website medicalnewstoday gives the following answer: “People pleaser” is not a medical diagnosis or a personality trait that psychologists measure. Instead, it is an informal label people use to describe a variety of behaviors, such as agreeing to errands a person does not have time for.
I think society has the answer to the question. But let’s not ask Society about it. Instead, let’s just go through the elements that conditioned the life of an individual to make him/her tend to be a “people pleaser”.
The Cultural influence here plays a role to model the archetype. It is the family culture, community, or country. There may be expectations toward the individual to perpetuate that cultural trait of the belonging group. This will drive the urgent need to suppress their own desire or need for the profit of others. The cultural influence might teach selflessness as a virtue. But at which point?
In the same group, culture can influence parenting style. In fact, the individual might have been raised by parents who always encourage them to please others. Mostly, if there is pressure that it is “important” that others like the individual, the rewards will be a great representation of that cultural trait of the community/family.
Society besides that tends to potter the personality of the individual and taught that its needs are valid, but there are people with bigger needs in their life. This will drive lesser advocacy for the self or have no more awareness of what are its needs.
And the individual will tend to hardly say no, and say yes to everything even if it is going to be hard.
Lastly, is to note that the conditioning from the culture, through family in the society might lead to a personality disorder called dependent personality disorder (DPD) and affects its mental health conditions. the DPD is the fact of feeling very dependent on others for help and approval in many facets of life.
To conclude, the purpose of this article is to help you recognize one in your surrounding and help them to not be overwhelmed. Because, as noble as it sounds to be here for others and listen to them; it is important to be present for the self and be aware of our own needs.
